Cold hearted

Some people know just how to push your buttons. Right now there is so much going, and my life is consumed with summer school at the moment, and that is enough stress and work as it is. I have this person who used to be my best friend, but just because I didn't hang out with her when everything was going on 3 months ago, she decided not to be my friend any more (very mature). Why can she just leave it alone then? Why does she have to text me, get me all riled up and annoyed. I never know that some people could be just so cold and couldn't care less that you are going through a hard time, they just want to make it harder. It just AMAZES me how much some people just don't have a heart...but it is probably for the better to find out who my true friends are now rather then later

6 months ago...

There are times that I think of how different my life is now compared to 6 months ago. I had a boyfriend then, who I ended up brreaking up with to enjoy being a single 21-year-old in college. I also had a dog...yes she was quite evil but she had been around since I was 6 so I loved her nonetheless, even though we didn't get along. And most importantly, my dad was still around. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him, some days more then others, which tend to be harder. Many things I see remind me of him, every where I go. I can't help to smile at the thought of him, but get upset at the thought that he is no longer on this earth with my mom and I.
I have to remember that there is a reason for all of this. I know that he is with me, and watches over me every. That little voice in the back of my head, I know it's him at times, and some days I can feel him around. I really miss him, miss the life that I had 6 months ago.

Life: Live it up

Every day is a new day for us to enjoy. You never know what can happen, because any moment everything can change. We need to learn to let the little things in life go, and move on. When some one close to us passes away, we begin to have a new outlook on life; some times we might even change as a person.

“I try to live life to the fullest every day, and try to tell my family how much I love them because you never know what tomorrow will bring.” – Female, lost grandmother due to cancer

“Life can be too short, and we should live like it is and not take it for granted.” – Female, lost ex-boyfriend in a car accident

“I try to spend time with my friends and family, and cherish every moment of it.” – Female, lost grandfather due to cancer

That is just a couple of people’s new outlook on life after losing a loved one. Death is one of those eye openers that make us realize how short life really is. I hope that we can stop taking it for granted and just enjoy what we have been given. So stop complaining about petty stuff, be positive, and get livin’.

For reasons we may not know

Everything happens for a reason, and one day we will find that reason. We experience things in our lives that become eye openers, whether it is a close encounter with death, or an actual death of a loved one.
A friend of mine lost her ex-boyfriend in a car accident five years ago. She was very upset but it opened up her eyes: “It showed me that the decisions we make in life affect us, and even though we may think we are in control, it can be taken away.”
A reason that some people die is so that they do not suffer anymore. People who are in pain due to a chronic illness are suffering. They might not want to live that way, and when they die they are at peace. A girl in my neighborhood lost her grandfather about a week and a half ago to cancer, which has spread throughout his whole body. To help her cope she talked to her family, and they helped her realize that he was no longer in pain.

6 Tips for Coping

When a loved one dies it is a really hard thing to deal with. We get showered with all sorts of emotions. Coping with it can be emotionally and physically draining. A big way that we tend to cope with death is by avoiding the certainty that it is real. One day it feels real and one day it doesn’t. Blocking out the fact that it actually happened helps us to move on, but eventually it will hit us that it is real, and we do have to deal with it. Here are some tips to help cope:

• Accept your personal feelings—it is normal to go through the grieving process. It is also important to express your feelings rather then to repress them.

• Cry—it’s natural and helps to get everything out, if even for a minute. So guys don’t be afraid to cry and show emotion. For me personally, I do not cry as much as I used to. When I really sit and think about my dad, that I am never going to see him again, that is when it starts to hit me. I will have a breakdown at random times, one little thing that reminds me of him, and I am a mess.

• Talk about it—with a good friend, or family member. This helps you to remember the good times, and is a necessary part of the grieving process. A good friend of mine lost her grandfather to cancer a week ago. In order to cope, she has talked to her parents and siblings—they have helped her to realize that he is no longer in pain.

• Maintain healthy habits—since this is physically exhausting, eat a nutritious diet. Get the proper exercise and rest. Avoid unhealthy habits like alcohol, excessive eating, abusing drugs, and smoking cigarettes.

• Honor your loved one—when holidays come around, it is going to be hard, especially the first time. You should honor your loved one, and maybe go out to one of their favorite restaurants, or something that sparks an old memory. This will help you keep the memory alive, even though it is not. Your loved one wouldn’t want you to sit around moping, they would want you to move on with your life.

• Avoid major decisions—don’t move or change careers immediately after, this will only ad stress.

The Grieving process

This is a very long and emotionally painful process. This process can be less painful if you begin to accept that dying is a natural part of life, it is inevitable. This process normally consists of these stages:

• Anger—we tend to get angry with other people, ourselves, or just angry in general. It just does not seem fair that some one close to us died and we don’t know why they had to leave so soon. Eventually you will begin to realize that the world is not out to get you and the anger will subside.

• Bargaining—sometimes we try to bargain and say that we will give up something in our lives to get that loved one back.

• Guilt—we may feel guilty for things that we did or did not do prior to the loss. We might also start to blame ourselves for what has happened, even though it wasn’t our fault at all

• Depression—at first you might experience a sense of great loss. After that mood fluctuations might occur. Feelings of isolation and withdrawal may follow. It will take awhile to return to your old self, it is normal.

• Loneliness—as you go through changes in your social life due to the loss, you may be lonely and afraid. You might get afraid that some one else close to you might die as well.

• Acceptance—you finally start to accept the reality of the situation, however, this does not mean happiness

• Hope—eventually it won’t be so painful remembering what happened and the memories you shared with that loved one and you can begin to move on and look at the future for good times.

Not every person goes through these stages, some people may skip a stage or two, or some may experience more than this. As we go through this process, some things we may experience is: sadness, disbelief, shock, numbness, lack of energy, feelings of weakness, loss of appetite, nightmares or trouble sleeping, loss of interests in friends or normal activities, and poor grades in school (if you’re still in school of course). All of this is normal.
Some things that you could do to help resolve this process may include: allowing time to experience thoughts and feelings openly to yourself, acknowledge and accept all feelings (both positive and negative), use a journal, confide in a friend, express your feelings openly (crying offers a release), resolve unfinished business, join a bereavement group, or go to counseling. Some actions that could hinder the healing process involve using drugs or alcohol to self-medicate, over function at work to avoid feelings, and avoiding or minimizing your emotions.

Someone's Watching Over Me

I found myself today
Oh, I found myself and ran away
But something pulled me back
A voice of reason, I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it’s written in the sky tonight

So I won’t give up
No, I won’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I’m standing in the dark I’ll still believe
Someone’s watching over me

I’ve seen that ray of light
And it’s shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I won’t be afraid
To follow everywhere it’s taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment, to my dreams

So I won’t give up
No I won’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I’m standing in the dark I’ll still believe...

That someone’s watching over,
Someone's watching over,
Someone's watching over me