My father’s death was so unexpected which has made it even harder to deal with. The night that he died he and my mother came in to have dinner where I waitress and I was so busy that I was unable to really talk to them. Later when I got home, he was sitting in the living room watching TV, but I was on the phone and went straight upstairs, only saying, “hey.” I regret not going in to the room and giving him a hug and telling him I love him. Obviously I did not know what was about to happen, but I still regret it.
Before my dad died I never used to believe in signs. But a couple of weeks ago as I was cleaning out my closet and putting clothes in a pile to take to the river house, I was thinking about my father. I spent a lot of weekends in the summer at the river house with him. As I was moving the clothes, something fell out of my closet. It was a Valentines bear holding an “I love you” balloon. I just know that was my father’s way of telling me that he loves me and to let go of the regret.
Instead of the typical funeral, we had a celebration, because life should be celebrated. On March 9, 2009, 400-500 family and friends gathered to celebrate the life of my father. People gave testimonials of Vernon’s impact on their life. Laughter and tears were shared amongst every one.
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