Part 4 of 6: What to say/what not to say

Since my father died everything has changed. I constantly search for the reason why it happened. The only thing I can come up with is it has made me stronger and closer to my mother. It has also shown me how precious life really is.

So, I am 21 years old, and it is just me and my mother. None of my friend’s parents have passed away and none of my mother’s friends have lost a spouse. Nobody really knows what to do. Some say, “I am so sorry for your loss, let me know if there is any thing I can do to help.” It is a very nice thought, but my mom and I don’t really know exactly what we need help with.

At times, it has been awkward being around my friends, because I know that they don’t know what to say or how to act and it is hard for them to see me upset. And they are upset too, not just because I am, but because they knew him too.

I also learned that some people just don’t think when they talk. One of my mother’s “good friends” asked her a week after it happened, “so how does it feel being single?” My mother really does not talk to her now. Another friend asked my mother if he could have some of my father’s expensive jackets.

So my advice on how to handle it if your friend has lost a parent is to just comfort them, check in on them and make sure that they are doing okay. Offer to take them out for a change of scenery and to try to get their mind off of the subject, at least for a few precious minutes.